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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only

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From: Tomato	11/22/2022 11:23:33 AM
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On her deathbed, Morton's wife had one last wish. "Dearest Morton, when I'm gone I want you to go on and live your life to the fullest and meet someone new. I want you to give her my jewellry, my wedding ring, and my Parisian dresses." "I can't do that.." says Morton. His wife insists, "Oh, but you must! You must!" He replies, "No, I really can't - You're a size 17 and she wears a size 10.” — What's the difference between a proctologist and a retail worker? The proctologist needed to go to medical school to be able deal with assholes for a living. — I had a bet with my friend. He said “I bet you couldn’t name 3 Qatar players. I said “don’t be stupid that’s easy. Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix and Jimmy Page.” — The doctor says to the patient "I have some good news, and some bad news..." Patient asks "What's the good news?” Doctor says "My son's going to college!” Patient asks "What's the bad news?” Doctor says "You're paying for it!” — How do you know you're falling asleep and not just dying peacefully? You don’t. — Why do turkeys love thanksgiving? Because they don’t have to worry about buying Christmas presents.

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