Did you hear about the first lady referee?
She threw a flag for something that happened last year.
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I know I have a terrible stutter, but I would like to introduce you to the lady who cuts my hair:
This is Ba ba ba ba barber Ann.
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A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.
She was thrilled at the speed.
"If I do100 mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked.
"Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.
And as he gets up to 100, she peeled off all her clothes.
Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over.
The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.
"Go and get help!" he cried.
"But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!”
Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."
Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station.
Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!”
The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."
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An Amish farmer is walking through his field when he sees a guy drinking from his pond, scooping it up with his hand.
The farmer says, "Trinken sie nicht das wasser, die kuhe unddie schweine haben in ihm geschissen," ('Don't drink the water, the cows and the pigs shit in it'). The guy shouts back, "This is America! I don't understand your gibberish! Speak English, you moron!"
The farmer replies, "Use two hands, you'll get more.”
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I went to a new family doctor today. The waiting room was spacious, new renovation, nice and beautiful nurses. And it got a sign:
"We respect our patients' privacy, we will not call you by name".
Quite good eh, I thought.
Completed the registration, I sat down in the waiting area, reading the latest car magazine. A moment later, the nurse speak with the mic:
"The man age 32, with haemorrhoids, please proceed to examination room number 3”. |
