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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only
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To: Tomato who wrote (5572)4/2/2023 12:30:37 PM
From: Tomato1 Recommendation

Recommended By
geoffrey Wren

   of 6619
 
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish.................49
Adventurous............Slept with everyone
Athletic...............No boobs
Average looking........Moooo
Beautiful..............Pathological liar
Buxom..................Fat
Emotionally secure.....On medication
Feminist...............Fat
Free spirit............Junkie
Friendship first.......Former slut
New-Age................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned..........No BJs
Open-minded............Desperate
Outgoing...............Loud and Embarrassing
Professional...........Bitch
Voluptuous.............Very Fat
Large frame............Hugely Fat
Wants soul mate........Stalker

—

"Excuse me, sir, your zipper is down", or:

1) The cucumber has left the salad.
2) Robin has left the 'hood.
3) I can see the gun of Navarone.
4) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
5) You've got Windows on your laptop.
6) Your soldier ain't so unknown anymore.
7) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
8) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
9) Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
10) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
11) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
12) Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
13) Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
14) The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
15) You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
16) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction
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