Name the tragic event when 1/4th of the human population died.
When Abel was murdered.
—
Son: "Mum, what's an orgasm?"
Mum: "I dunno, ask your Dad.”
—
What do you get when you cross Chinese dumplings and a stupid male offspring?
Dim Son.
—
Subject: Actual Personals from Israeli Newspapers
Attractive Jewish woman, 35, college graduate, seeks successful
Jewish Prince Charming to get me out of my parents' house.
Shul gabbai, 36. I take out the Torah Saturday morning. Would like
to take you out Saturday night. Please write.
Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let's try
it for eight days. Who knows?
Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with, light Shabbos
candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar
mitzvahs. Religion not important.
Orthodox woman with get (Jewish divorce), seeks man who got get,
or can get get. Get it? I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.
Sincere rabbinical student, 27. Enjoys Yom Kippur, Tisha B'av, Taanis
Esther, Tzom Gedaliah, Asarah B'Teves, Shiva Asar B'Tammuz. Seeks
Companion for living life in the "fast" lane.
Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in a
woman. Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write.
Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality.
Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of
dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please.
Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male who will
accept my independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just forget it.
Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah
candles, havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker.
Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind.
Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good.
80-year-old bubby, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male,
under35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can't I?
I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to
share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. I'll
understand your insecurities. No fatties, please.
Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made.
Looking for girl whose father will hire me.
Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing, skiing, track
and field. Has slight limp. |
