A new strain of head lice which is resistant to conventional treatment has been discovered.
It has left scientists scratching their heads.
—
There's a new strain of Covid in Canada.
It's eh-symptomatic.
—
JEWISH ZEN
1. Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your
stillness be as
the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never
meet the Buddha
with such round shoulders.
2. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you
never called,
you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was
that?
3. Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is
another story.
4. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle
maintenance, do
the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you
thinking?
5. Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions.
Keep in
mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a
terminal
illness.
6. If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
7. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe
out. Forget this
and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your
problems.
8. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing
of others.
The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The
Tao does not
take sides. The Tao is not Jewish.
9. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip,
joy. With the
second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish.
10. The Buddha taught that one should practice loving
kindness to all
sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a
nice sentient
being, who happens to be Jewish?
11. Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and
achieve all
things faster.
12. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you
are ten
thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand
times. Each
blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see
a specialist.
13. Be here now. Be someplace else, later. Is that so
complicated?
14. Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain
nothingness. And
then what do you have? Bupkes!!!!!! |
