Three tampons are walking down the road. A thin, a regular, and a super. Which one says hi first?
None. They’re all stuck up cunts.
—
How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?
When she can’t find her pencil and there is a tampon behind her ear.
—
Do you know why women wear tampons when they go sky diving?
So they don’t whistle on the way down.
—
A gentleman in desperate need of the restroom was on an international flight to Japan.
All of the restrooms were occupied, with the exception of the ladies’ room in first class.
The stewardess, who was aware of his circumstance, suggested that he use the ladies’ room, but warned him that this was a Japanese toilet and that he should not use any of the buttons on it.
After taking care of any pressing matters, he looked around, his gaze fixed on the buttons. His curiosity got the best of him, and he decided to try the buttons anyway, despite the fact that they were marked in both English and Japanese.
He carefully pressed the first “WW” button, and warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom.
He decided it was quite pleasant after the initial surprise and wondered what the others did.
He then pressed the “WA” button, and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hindquarters.
The “PP” button produced a large powder puff that delicately applied a soft talc to his rear.
Naturally, he couldn’t resist the last button labeled “ATR.”
Later, he panicked when he awoke in the hospital and buzzed for the nurse. When she appeared, he exclaimed, “What happened?! On a business trip, the last thing I remember is being in the ladies’ room!”
“Yes, I imagine you were having a great time until you pressed the ‘ATR’ button,” the nurse explained. “It stands for Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.”
—
Two blondes go to Vegas.
They, however, misplaced their wallets and now have only $8.00 between them.
“Give me the money, I have a great idea,” says the first blonde.
She enters Walgreens and leaves with a bag.
The second blonde takes it and looks inside, discovering a box of tampons. “That’s great, you piss away our last $8.00 on a box of tampons?” she says. “What should we do now?”
“You got it all wrong!” says the first blonde. We’re going to have a great time. On the TV ad they said that when we use these we can go skydiving, horseback riding, skiing, and rock climbing!" |
