One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and
headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink.
Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied
under that tree outside?'
The blonde said it was hers.
'Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said.
The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.'
The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred.'
'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this morning.'
The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!'
The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.’
—
Why does the Dalai Lama go to the race track?
Because he loves to bet.
—
There is a new woman's shelter downtown called "Tempura House." It's a home for lightly battered women.
—
What's the difference between mononucleosis and
herpes?
You get mono by snatching a kiss.
—
Irish Art
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society.
"In fact," he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society."
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"
''Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery, asked the couple? "
"Because I am the artist, who painted the picture,"he replied. In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch." |
