Obesity kills thousands more Americans than shootings do.
This teaches us an important lesson: shooters do poorly considering the size of their targets.
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Little Johnny's History answers:
Christopher Columbus circumcised the world with forty-foot clippers.
Rome was overthrown by invasions of Huns, Visigoths, and Osteopaths.
Sir Francis Drake defeated the Spanish Armadillo.
Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.
Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.
Homer wrote the Oddity.
Noah's wife was Joan of Ark.
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The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel.
"Your Holiness ", said one of his Cardinals, "Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths. "
The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand. "Don't we have a Cardinal to represent me? " he asked.
"None that plays very well, " a Cardinal replied. "But," he added, "There is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a Cardinal, and then ask him to play Mr. Netanyahu as your personal representative. In addition to showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the match. "
Everyone agreed it was a good idea, and the call was made. Of course, Nicklaus was honored to be made a Cardinal, and agreed to play. |