There's a new orphanage in Indiana called "Hoosier Daddy.”
—
A couple of guys are at the bar. First guy says to his buddy, "My wife just admitted to me that she's been having an affair with Bob the mailman."
"What?" says his buddy. "That fat ugly fuck I see every morning outside your house?"
"That's right," says the first guy.
"Jesus," says his buddy. "Why would Bob the mailman want to fuck that?”
—
It's been a rough day so far.
I put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. Now I'm afraid to pee.
—
I think the last time I was inside a woman, was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
—
The couple had been married for twenty years.
It was a happy, wonderful marriage, except that the wife was very unfaithful. The husband finally got so tired of her unfaithfulness that he made her promise to never again be untrue to him. One day he came home and found her in bed with a midget.
He cried out, "My wife, my love, after you made all those promises, I find you in bed with another man, and a midget at that!"
She replied, "My dearest husband, the love of my life, do you not believe me, do you not see, do you not understand? I am tapering off.” |
