Christine; I never used the word love lightly when I was courting,
heck I could love the girl, and often "not tell her" to me
saying it out loud, bond me to a most serious commitment. So I often wanted to be sure I really really loved her before I voiced the words.
I don't have to forgive myself for any thing in that area, for I did
not sin in those ways.
Waht I was getting at was when I really felt I was in love,
but my feelings lied to me. I was not a fickle soul by nature,
but went down some long wrong trails, because I didn't know the
difference between love and infatuations.
It was later in life before I discovered the true
essence of love, that gave me the yard stick to measure my
infatuations from the real. But even in my infatuations, I did
not dishonor them by lying or leading a girl on with
empty words.
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In my younger days, and I know this may sound like mucho ego
and please forgive me if it does, but I never had to resort to any
kind of trickery to get a girl. I was the head lifeguard at Folly Beach, and could pick from among a wide assortment who were just
eager to be seen with me, and duly grateful that I would let
them.
From those days I seemed to have developed a sorta talent
that if I wanted to use could still serve me well.
Even at 60 I still have to be careful among the
ladies so as they know I'm taken. <G>
Now it wouldn't be right for me to reveal the secret of
the type of charm that just happened to come into my
possession. Why some not so noble as I might read and
understand and then use it the wrong way,
and then hardly a lady in the world would be safe.
And I am getting to old to continue to defend them all.
You see I'm also know far and wide, as the second Don Quixote,
who is bound in service to all ladies of the world. But I must
add I can only give my poor heart to the one that if you knew her
I'm sure you would say, there has never and will never
again be a match for her, Charlotte who is the absolute
Queen and ruler of my heart.
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But all taht has nothing to do with the feelings I am trying
to talk about. Let me put it this way, there were times I felt
guilty of things I should have been proud of, just because I
allowed someone else I loved tell me how I should think and feel.
Of course in true love people don't do that to the other,
they let they person stay free and share feelings with out
any attempt to control the other.
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Forever your most humble serpent.
ah ...thats not right, I meant to say servant. <G>
Jim a.k.a. D.Q.
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