I was walking past a homeless man when he yelled, "Stephen King is my older brother and he stole the ideas for all his novels from me!"
I replied, "Surely you must be Joe.
—
What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was falesly accused of a crime?
"I'm in a cent!”
—
Ray and Pops were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall when a flower show was in progress.
Ray leaned over to Pops and said, “Cripes! life is boring, we never have any fun these days. For $5.00 I’d take my clothes off and streak through the flower show!”
“You’re on!” said Pops, holding up five dollars.
As fast as he could, the Ray fumbled his way out of his clothes and completely naked, streaked through the front door of the town hall, followed by loud applause. The streaker burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
“Wow, what happened?” asked Pops.
“It was great!” Ray said, “I won first prize for Dried Arrangement!”
—
As I knelt down in the shoe shop with a pair of shoes in front of this sexy blonde, I couldn't resist a quick glance up her short skirt...
"Hey pervy!" she said. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts, isn't it?!"
"That's absolutely ridiculous!" I said. "I don't even work here!" |
