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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only

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From: Tomato	8/9/2023 12:35:05 PM
	of 6616

A man in his 50's visits the doctor. "I just can't take it anymore, doc," he says, wincing. "I stand at the urinal for 20 minutes and nothing happens. Is there something I can take?" "I'll tell you what you can take," the doctor snarls. "A cold dose of reality! Do you have any idea what's happening out there?! Global warming is destroying the planet! Supervolcanoes are waking from dormancy! We're on the verge of a nuclear war, and NOTHING CAN STOP IT!!" Visibly shaken, the man looks down and realizes he's pissed his pants. Ashamed but relieved, he thanks the doctor profusely. "No trouble at all," the doctor chuckles. "All you needed was a little dire rhetoric.” -- A truck filled with Worcestershire sauce and a truck filled with quinoa crashed in front of the local charcuterie shop. When asked by reporters what had happened a witness replied, "Well... it's kind of hard to say…" -- Did you hear they're remaking The Princess Bride with an all-potato cast? "Hello, my name is Idaho Montoya. You peeled my father. Prepare to fry.”

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