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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only
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From: Tomato8/15/2023 3:16:30 PM
   of 6616
 
I once asked this woman how she felt about condoms.

She said, "It all depends on what's in it for me.”

—

I always worry when a woman sees me naked for the first time that she will scream…

and run out of the park.

—

The teacher fell asleep in class and a little naughty boy walked up to him...

Little boy: "Teacher are you ... sleeping in class?"

Teacher : "No I am not sleeping in class."

Little boy : "What were you doing sir ?"

Teacher : " I was talking to God."

The next day the naughty boy fell asleep in class and the same teacher walks up to him...

Teacher : "young man, you are sleeping in my class."

Little boy : "No not me sir,I am not sleeping."

Angry teacher: "What were you doing.??"

Little boy : "I was talking to God."

Angry teacher: "What did He say??"

Little boy : "God said He never spoke to you yesterday…"

—

My girlfriend is from India. She likes to tease me by sending a pic of herself clothed, and then one of her nude.

She calls it sari, not sari.

—

A world famous statistician was stopped by TSA at the airport

on his way to catch a flight to Washington DC. When they opened up his bag they found a bomb in it. Subsequently he was handcuffed and taken to the station for questioning.

When asked about it he said, “I always carry a bomb with me for every fight!”

The investigator questioned this, saying “Why would you do such a thing?”

To which the statistician replied, “because the odds of two people having bombs on the same flight are astronomical!”
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