Why do termites eat people’s homes?
Because they have Munchausen Syndrome.
—
A man has problems with urinating in one direction
This gentlemen was in a frightful state, bursting into the public lavatory sweating and groaning. Desperate to have a pee, he stands in the middle cubicle between two guys and let’s rip. The pee flies everywhere, up the walls, onto his shoes and all over the other guys who are disgusted and run out of the lavatory, cursing his name.
“Whats going on here?” The man thinks, and goes to visit his doctor.
He tells the doc what happened, who says to him
“How unusual, I’ve not heard the like before, get the little guy out and put it on the table there.”
So the man does. The doctor reaches into his drawer and finds a gigantic magnifying glass. He approaches the offending sausage, wielding it menacingly, much to the gentleman’s embarrassment. He peers at it and says,
“Extraordinary, I’ve never seen the like! Look yourself!”
The man stared at his penis in horror.
“Holes man! You’ve got tiny holes all over your penis, that’s why you’re leaking the urine everywhere.”
Aghast, the man asks what is he to do? How can he live a life like this? The doctor seeks to reassure him.
“Not a worry, this is the address and number of a great guy, he’ll help you.”
“Oh is he some sort of willy specialist?”
“No, he’s a clarinet player, he’ll show you how to hold it.”
—
I've just been to the shortest ever celebration of cheese.
It was the briefest. |
