And you call yourself a Virginian! Where is your sense of hospitality? That Williamsburg pineapple banner, colonial symbol of welcome, does not fly over Rambiland in a meaningless gesture!
I have recently made an appointment with a geneticist to discuss the possibility of gene therapy to correct my inability to be rude. I am tired of being accused of wimpery and wishywashyness. Hormone replacements and psychiatric treatment have met with no success. This is a desperate, last ditch effort to turn myself into the type of person qualified to hold her own in the vicious world of SI. I have volunteered at Affymetrix as a guinea pig for any ongoing experiments into DNA manipulation to alter behavior and personality. However, until they are able to isolate the missing or extra gene, I am forced to continue my present course of behavior, despicable as it is. And I expect no less of everyone here. Part of the problem, you see, is that my condition is accompanied by the delusion that courtesy and kindness are actually desirable traits. I know, I know. You all have been so patient with me and I love you for it. SOmeday I hope to make you proud by telling you all to go to hell. But til then I fear you are stuck with penni the wuss.
(I guess it wouldn't surprise you to know that I do fly a pineapple flag at our house. Only currently it's a cute little Valentine banner with a heart, this week to be replaced by a giant, but precious bunny.) |
