Pat:
--->Side note: The wearing of shoes while reading this message is not required!
Well, I tried it without and I tried it with.........both ways, it was pretty good----thanks.
This talk about shoes has reminded me of one of the regulars who comes into the general store hereabouts----
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BillyJack came in recently wearing but a single tennis shoe. Now, this was on his foot for the rest of his body was sufficiently attired in some duckins and a shirt his momma had made from a flour sack and he had on his big heavy coat ( a pea jacket, it's called) that his cousin, twice removed, had brought back from the Korean War.
Of course, all us spitandwhittlers crowded round the pot belly stove observed it but waited for the big boss of the store to say something to ol BJ.
Well, he did and right smartly, too.
B J. he says, just what in the pluperfect heckfire are you doin barfoot and it showing and cold as a damnyankees heart outsides thar ?
Ol BillyJack, he just answers rat back, quick as a cat can lik his privates, and informed BigDaddy, he's the store owner and all us fellers gettin warm round the potbelly stove and I quote -----"HUH"
Now, BigDaddy aint one much to want to repeat hisself so he just glared hard at ol BillyJack and grunted some, kinda lak a big bull breakin wind, sorta...
BIllyJoe, who was sittin next to me on the bench, (by the way, he arent no kin to BillyJack) interrupted and asked BJ where had he gotten the shoe.
This question was more down the aisle of perception that BJ was able to comprehend that particular mornin so the reply had a little somethin to do with the question-------this time you could see the little bulb light up above ol BJacks head and he said and I quote-----"FOUND IT"
Well, the reply didn't satisfy ol BigDaddy and he busted out in a loud and deep voice------Well, you iggernant fool, if you found a pair of shoes and its snowin and cold why in the absolute pluperfect heckfire and tarnation didn't you put BOTH of em on, stead of ONE, you stupid jackass. Sometimes I figger you couldn't pour p*ss out of a boot iffen the directions was on the dangblasted heel.............
It all got quiet in the store cause this was bout as livid as we'ed saw BigDaddy get since he'd had his stroke and all.........
Non-plussed and calm, now that he'd understood the question from BigDaddy, BIllyJack kinda pulled hisself up tall as could be and took a deep breath and tugged on his jacket to straighten it up and pulled on the bill of his BIG TEX FEED Store (gimmie) hat and blurted out---
Well, dang it BigDaddy, I didn't find but ONE shoe.
Regards---Nemer |
