Anyone want some fresh news!!! (I hope this is legal??)
WESTLAKE VILLAGE, Calif.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Feb. 17, 1998--
Franklin Telecom Corp. (www.ftel.com), a leading provider of
telecommunications and Internet telephony products and services, has
recently replaced much of its front lawn with a large parking lot. The additional parking is a much needed addition to Franklin's facility and will be required to accommodate the flood of curious investors interested in procuring Franklin's line of Internet Telephony products.
"Eveyone will benefit from the added parking lot" explains Frank Peters, Franklin's President and CEO. "Everyone except the guy who mows our lawn - he won't be needed much around here anymore"! When asked to comment on the recent changes to the landscaping, Mike a.k.a. ValueLawn appeared miffed and wandered off to the garden shed where he climbed aboard a riding lawn mower and drove off into the sunset screaming "someone will pay for this"!! Mike was last seen picking up the pieces of his own failed landscaping business and attempting to develop a loyal following of "Franklin Bashers" on a poorly developed Web Site devoted to small cap stocks. Mike also changed his name from "ValueLawn" to "ValueSpec".
Frank Peters further explained that Mike's departure was mutually beneficial to everyone involved. "The last thing we need around here is some disgruntled employee stifling our enthusiasm" stated Mr. Peters. "This change in careers, like the change that occurred when Mike came here a few years back, will help him grow further. We wish Mike the very best in his chosen endeavor".
Mike came to Franklin a few years ago after departing his groundskeeper job at the Westlake Country Club. At that time, Mike was annoyed when a movie was made about the Country Club's "Caddy Shack" and he was portrayed in the movie by Bill Murray, a bumbling simpleton, who spent his days chasing gophers and cleaning excrement from the swimming pool. Although the portrayal of Mike's duties was accurate, Mike was most upset when they failed to mention his Web Site in the movies credits.
Mike recently completed the "Sally Struther's School of Investing" and rarely talks about his gopher chasing days, especially now that he is an avid investor in penny stocks and is striving to improve his stock shorting skills through a Canadian Brokerage firm.
Franklin Telecom Corp. (FTEL), founded in 1981, designs and
manufacturers communications devices including, high-speed LAN, WAN,
telco and satellite systems and software. FTEL has an installed base
of more than 100,000 nodes worldwide. Major customers include 3Com,
IBM, Citibank, Tandem Computer, Oracle Corporation and the New York
Stock Exchange. FTEL's Internet subsidiaries, FNet and Internet
Passport, provide services using FTEL products. FNet is a provider of
Internet access and services to businesses and individuals. The
company's stock is traded on the over the counter market under the
symbol FTEL.
Certain statements in this news release constitute "forward-looking statements" with the meaning of Section 27A of the Securities Act of 1933 and Section 21E of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934. Such forward-looking statements involve known and unknown risks, uncertainties and other factors that many cause the actual
results, performance or achievements, express and implied by such
forward-looking statements.
I'm sure you all realize by now that this is a phoney story. Hope you all had a good laugh and please don't send the lawyers looking for me!! |
