A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror,stare at myself and repeat 3 times
I do not have a headache;
I do not have a headache,
I do not have a headache.'
It worked! The headaches are all gone."
"Well, that is wonderful," replies the husband.
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
She's not my wife!
She's not my wife!
She's not my wife!”
—
While driving too fast on #16 hole at the golf course, a retired but handsome gentleman accidentally overturned his cart late one March afternoon.
An attractive female who lives in a huge house right on the golf course, heard the noise and called out: -“Are you OK?”
“I’m gonna live, just bruised up, thanks.”- he replied, as he pulled himself out of the twisted cart.
She said: -“Come up to my patio, rest a while, and I’ll help you get the cart up later.”
The man noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a killer figure. “That’s mighty nice of you,”- he answered, -“but I know my wife wouldn’t like it.”
“Oh, come on now Big Boy!”- she insisted.
She was so hot and pretty, and very, very persuasive, and he was weak.
“Well, OK.”- he finally agreed.
After a couple of Bourbon and ginger ales, he thanked her and said: -“I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be upset. So I’d better go now.”
“Don’t be silly!”- she said with a smile, letting her robe fall open. -“Stay for a while. Your wife won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”
He replied: -“Still under the cart.” |
