What`s the difference between a tea cup and a peecup?
A tea cup is a kind of cup they drink out of in England. A peecup is a kind of truck they drive in Mexico.
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Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, "We've been waiting a long time for you."
"What do you mean," he replied, "I'm only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?"
"45? You're not 45, you're 82," replied the angel.
"Wait a minute. If you think I'm 82 then you have the wrong guy. I'm only 45. I can show you my birth certificate."
"Hold on. Let me go check," said the angel and disappeared inside. After a few minutes the angel returned.
"Sorry, but by our records you are 82. I checked all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82…"
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Do You Know How the Blonde Got Lipstick on the Steering Wheel?
She tried to blow the horn.
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A man receives a phone call from the local post office...
"Sir, we really must complain" the caller said, "your dog keeps attacking our postman on a bike".
The main angrily replied "well it can't be my dog... he doesn't even know how to ride a bike" and hung up.
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