| Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever Seven agonizing nights aboard the Icon of the Seas
 
 Day 1
 MY FIRST GLIMPSE   of Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, from the window of an   approaching Miami cab, brings on a feeling of vertigo, nausea,   amazement, and distress. I shut my eyes in defense, as my brain tells my   optic nerve to try again.
 
 The   ship makes no sense, vertically or horizontally. It makes no sense on   sea, or on land, or in outer space. It looks like a hodgepodge of domes   and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by   idiots. Vibrant, oversignifying colors are stacked upon other such   colors, decks perched over still more decks; the only comfort is a row   of lifeboats ringing its perimeter. There is no imposed order, no cogent   thought, and, for those who do not harbor a totalitarian sense of   gigantomania, no visual mercy. This is the biggest cruise ship ever   built, and I have been tasked with witnessing its......
 
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