OFF TOPIC,
thought this might amuse you. I tried to send a private message, but I couldn't paste in the window.
> Women's English
>> Yes = No
>> No = Yes
>> Maybe = No
>> I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
>> We need = I want
>> It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. >> Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
>> We need to talk = I need to complain
>> Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.
>> I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
>> You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
>> You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
>> Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
>> This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
>> I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and
>> wallpaper.....
>> Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
>> I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
>> Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
>> How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not >> going to like.
>> I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
>> Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
>> You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
>> Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
>> Was that the baby?=Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until >> he goes to sleep.
>> I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
>> *******************
>> Men's English:
>> ----------------------
>> "I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.
>> "I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.
>> "I'm tired." = I'm tired.
>> "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with
>> you.
>> "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with
>> you.
>> "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
>> "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
>> "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
>> "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.
>> "What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out
>> of this.
>> "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma
>> are you going through now?
>> "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
>> "I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?
>> "I love you." = Let's have sex now.
>> "I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
>> "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
>> "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
>> "Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep
>> person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
>> "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex
>> with other guys.
>> (while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress
>> and let's go home!
>> "I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = I am gay. |
