| | | Laughter is the best medicine Alastair...
A physician was walking down a hospital corridor and met an associate. "That lawyer in room 715; did you tell him that he was going to die in about 2 weeks, and until then he would be in horrible pain that we can't treat?" "Yes", replied the other doctor. "Oh crap", replied the first physician, "I wanted to tell him".
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. 'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
A father told his 3 sons when he sent them to the University: "I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best possible Education, and you do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a token, please each put $1,000 into my Coffin when I die." And so it happened. His sons became a doctor, a lawyer and a financial planner, each very successful financially. When their father's time had come and they saw their father in the coffin, they remembered his wish. First it was the doctor who put 10 $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased. Then came the financial planner, who also put $1,000 there. Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer's turn. He dipped into his pocket, took out his checkbook, wrote a check for $3,000, put it into his father's coffin, and took the $2,000 cash. He later went on to become a member of Congress...
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