My wife walked out on me after I blew our life savings on a penis extension.
She said she just couldn't take it any longer.
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Please join me in remembering YET ANOTHER great icon of the entertainment community.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes to the belly.
He was 71.
Dough Boy was survived by his wife Play Dough, three children, John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the Oven.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
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Four nuns were standing in line at the gates of heaven. Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned. "Well, once I looked at a man's penis," she said. "Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven," Peter told her.
Peter then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned. "Well, once I held a man's penis," she replied. "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said.
Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun. Peter asked her, "Why did you push ahead in line?" She said, "Because I want to gargle with the holy water before she sits in it!"
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A woman was in a coma. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a response on the monitor when she touched her.
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."
The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The hubby finally agreed and went into his wife's room.
After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses ran into the room.
The husband was standing there, pulling up his pants, and said, "I think she choked.”
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Blonde is using a weed-whacker and accidentally cuts off her cat's tail who was hiding in the bushes.
She scoops up the cat and its severed tail and yells, "Help! Someone bring me to WalMart right away!”
Her friend says, "WalMart?, Why do you want to go there?”
The blonde says, "Hello?!, You don't know that WalMart is one of the nation's biggest re-tailers?!" |
