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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only

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From: Tomato	10/26/2024 7:40:38 PM
	of 6603

My wife was shocked when she found out I switched her vibrator with a taser. -- I was just sentenced to twenty years for my part in a timeshare fraud. I have to go to prison for two weeks every year for 10 years. -- I don't believe all those screwdrivers really belong to Philip. — The Greek god Zeus was flying over a Greek island and noticed a naked woman washing herself, so he swooped down and made love to her. Then he said, "In 9 months you shall have a child and you shall call him Hercules!" And the woman replied, "In 9 days you will have a rash and you can call it herpes.” — I named my daughter Alexis, because if I hadn't had her, I'd be driving one. — A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?’ 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

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