A sailor walks into a public restroom and up to a urinal and as he begins to do his business. A 10 year old boy walks in and sees and him he starts to shout, "Golly Gee Mr., golly are you really a sailor? "
The sailor looks down at the kid and says, " Sure kid would you like to wear my hat?”
The boy responded with an excited, “Golly gee, yes!"
Soon after a marine walks in and up to a urinal also. As he begins to pee again the little boy looks up and again starts, “Golly Gee Mr, golly Gee are you really a Marine?"
The Marine being a little more hard-core looks down at the little boy and answers, “Sure kid would you like to suck my dick?"
The little boy baffled by this request stops to think about it for a second then replies back at the Marine, “Oh, I'm not really a sailor, Mr., I'm just wearing his hat! “
—
An older guy was walking along and he suddenly heard a whispered voice say, "Help me, please help me!" He stopped and looked around and saw no one so he started to continue when he heard the whispered voice again, "Help me, won't you please help me?!" Again he looked around but this time looked down and there was a frog, looking back at him, asking for help.
"What in the world?!", said the man. The frog replied that it had been cursed and if the old man would kiss it, it would turn back into a gorgeous, beautiful princess who would serve him and satisfy his every desire for the rest of his life.
The man thought for a moment, then picked up the frog, put it in his pocket, and continued on his way. From his pocket the frog yelled, "Hey, what about the kiss?"
The man replied, "At my age it's more interesting to have a talking frog.”
—
A city slicker, named Tommy, was on vacation in Texas. His hosts, being very hospitable, invited him to the local rodeo especially to see the greatest bucking bronco of all time, Blue Steel.
Blue Steel was famed and renowned throughout the West for being the toughest meanest horse there ever was. He had seen off so many would-be riders that the rodeo organizers had promised $10,000 for anyone who could ride him just for 10 seconds.
That afternoon, all the local Cowboys tried their best but Blue Steel lived up to his reputation and threw them all off with the greatest of ease.
As a joke, the organizers then offered the prize to anyone in the crowd who would dare to tangle with such a beast.
Up jumped Tommy and of course everyone laughed at him. But the organizers decided to let the city boy have a try.
Blue Steel bucked and lunged but Tommy not only stayed on the horse for 10 seconds but he stayed on for 20 seconds, then 30, then a minute! A few minutes more and Blue Steel was so exhausted he calmed down and Tommy rode him all around the ring like a birthday party pony.
Everyone was astonished.
"Considering you've never even sat on a horse before," said Tommy's friends, “How on earth did you manage that?"
"Easy," said Tommy, "My wife's an epileptic.” |
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