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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only
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From: Tomato11/1/2024 1:48:25 PM
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jazzlover2

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A Baptist, a Catholic, and a Mormon are in the maternity ward.

The Baptist says, “One more son and I have a basketball team.”

The Catholic says, “That’s nothing, one more kid and I have a baseball team.”

The Mormon guy says, “That’s nothing, one more wife and I have a golf course.”

—

Suburbia:

Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

—

Great news! Some of the old favorite singers and bands have re-released their great hits with new titles and lyrics to accommodate their aging audience. Some examples:

Herman's Hermits: "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker"
The Rolling Stones: "You Can't Always Pee When You Want"
Creedence Clearwater Revival: "Bad Prune Rising"
Marvin Gaye: "I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts"
The Who: "Talkin' 'Bout My Medication"
The Troggs: "Bald Thing"
Carly Simon: "You're So Varicose Vein"
The Bee Gees: "How Can You Mend a Broken Hip"
Roberta Flack: "The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face"
Johnny Nash: "I Can't See Clearly Now"
The Temptations: "Papa Got a Kidney Stone"
ABBA: "Denture Queen"
Leo Sayer: "You Make Me Feel Like Napping"
Commodores: "Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom"
Procol Harem: "A Whiter Shade of Hair"
The Beatles: "I Get By With a Little Help From Depends”.
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