A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the salesclerk.
"Well, they feel a bit tight," replies the blonde.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," offers the clerk.
“Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the blonde replies.
—
Phil's Story:
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express
praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise.
Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his
scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the
doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled
gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor
Phil must have experienced.
"Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move
caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate
operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed
remnants of Phil's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as
they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of
the hospital and the doctors say that with time his scrotum should
recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor
rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Phil."
The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife
the word is sternum." |
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