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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only

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From: Tomato

11/5/2024 11:15:33 AM

of 6602

The U.S. election results delay is pathetic.

In Russia, they know who won BEFORE the elections.

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The University of Louisville is being accused of luring basketball recruits to the school with strippers and prostitutes.
To be fair, college ball is supposed to prepare them for life in the NBA.
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A doctor tells his patient that the muscles at the base of his peins are broken down and that he'll never be able to get an erection again. He tells the guy that if he's willing to try an experimental procedure he could take muscles from the base of a baby elephant's trunk insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best. The guy figures that never having sex again is worth the risk so he agrees.

The doctor performs the surgery and about six weeks later, gives him the go ahead to try out his new equipment.

To celebrate, the guy takes his girlfriend out for drinks and dinner. While having dinner he starts feeling an incredible pressure in his pants. It soon gets unbearable and figuring no one can see him, he undoes his pants.

No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants stretches across the table, grabs a dinner roll and disappears back into his pants.

His girlfriend sits in shock for a few moments, then gets a smile on her face and says, That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?

With his eyes watering and a painful expression on his face he says, "Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass.”

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