I lost my girlfriend because I was a compulsive gambler
All I can think of now is how to win her back.
—
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
—
The woman next to me on this roller-coaster won't stop screaming and shouting.
It's like she's never seen a penis before.
—
An old man was sitting on a train across from a blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he was unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realized she was COMMANDO (going without underwear).
She saw him staring and inquired, "Are you looking at my vagina?"
"Yes, I'm sorry," he replied and promised to avert his eyes.
"It's quite all right," she replied, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the vagina blew him a kiss.
The old man was completely astounded and inquired what else it could do.
"I can also make it wink," she replied. The old man stared in amazement as the vagina winked at him.
"Come and sit next to me," she said, patting the seat. He moved over and she asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"
Stunned, he asked, "You're shittin' me, you mean it can whistle, too?" |
