Three women, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator.
The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says “Ooooohhh that looks like semen.”
She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says “It feels like semen.”
The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, smells it, and says “It smells like semen.”
Judi, the blonde, reaches out and touches it with her fingers and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says “It doesn't taste like anyone in this building…”
—
A little girl was licking a lollipop at the hairdresser's and accidentally dropped it into a pile of hair lying on the floor.
The hairdresser said: "Oh, do you have hair on your lollipop?"
The girl said: "No, I'm only seven.”
—
A couple are sitting in the living room one evening, and the wife starts to watch a cooking show on the television.
The husband asks, “What you watching that for? You can’t cook!”
Wife replies, “You watch porn don’t you?”
—
Top 10 Party Games for People Over 50
10. Sag! You're it!
9. Pin the toupee on the bald guy.
8. 20 questions shouted in your good ear.
7. Kick the bucket.
6. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says bend over.
5. Doc, doc, goose.
4. Simon says something incoherent.
3. Musical recliners.
2. Spin the bottle of Mylanta.
AND THE NUMBER 1 PARTY GAME FOR OLD PEOPLE IS... 1. Hide and go pee!
—
My wife and I were having sex last night.
Fifteen minutes passed,then thirty,then forty-five. The sweat was pouring off of us and it was becoming increasingly apparent that neither of us was going to reach orgasm.
Finally my wife said: "What's the matter,darling, can't you think of anyone else either?" |
