A couple was watching the Discovery Channel show about an African bush tribe whose men all had penises 14 inches long.
When a male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight.
After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 14 inches.
Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked down at him and said, "How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?”
The husband agreed and they tied a string and weight to his penis.
A few days later, the wife asked the husband "How is our little tribal experiment coming along?”
"Well, it looks like we're about half way there" he replied. "Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?”
"No, it's turned black.”
—
An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing," shrugged the woman, "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback…”
—
Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on My VCR?
Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?
Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause.
Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
—
A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place
by the altar, when the best man notices that the groom has
the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says,
Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but whats
up? You look so excited.
The groom replies, I just had the best blow job I have ever
had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman
who gave it to me.
The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has
the biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honor
notices this and says, I know youre happy to be getting married,
but whats up? You look so excited.
The bride replies, I have just given the last blow job of
my entire life! |
