I tried to tell this girl a joke about a
balaclava, but it went over her head.
—
After twelve months of revealing my soul in intense therapy sessions, something my psychiatrist said brought tears to my eyes.
He said: "No hablo Ingles.”
-
I walked into my psychiatrist's wearing only briefs made from saran wrap.
My psychiatrist said: "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.”
-
Me: "Doctor, I keep thinking I'm Time magazine!"
Psychiatrist: "I can see you have a lot of issues.”
-
Psychiatrist: "Madam,why are you wearing a dress made of sponges?"
Patient: "I'm self-absorbed.”
—
A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
The husband being shocked, replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before."
The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do
was.............oh, I miss him so!" |
