Candace Owens Horrified To Learn Christmas Was Started By Birth Of A Jew
Media·Dec 22, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
U.S. — Media personality Candace Owens was shocked and appalled today after discovering that Christmas originated because of the birth of a Jew.
"You've got to be kidding me," exclaimed a stunned Owens. "This whole thing -- the lights, the carols, people worshipping -- all this started because of a Jew being born? Ugh. Our entire national calendar revolves around this holiday, and no one talks about that it's all because of a Jew. And we're still pretending like they don't control everything?"
The horrified Owens began tearing down all of her Christmas decorations and throwing them out to the curb, disgusted that she had been tricked by a Jewish plot. Lighting her nativity scene on fire, Owens resolved to expose the villainous Christmas plot to her listeners.
"Real Christians do not celebrate Christmas," said Owens the next morning as she began taping. "The fact is, if you're celebrating Christmas, you've been duped. You're just a pawn, cheering the birth of a Jew, just like they want you to. And when I say 'they', I think you know who I mean: the Jews."
At publishing time, Owens had once again gasped in dismay after learning that Easter celebrated the coming back to life of a Jewish guy.
Wai till she finds out this Jew was an Israeli who lived his entire life in occupied Palestine - a kosher eating, circumcised, tefillin (narrow) wearing, worshipper at the Jewish temple - couldn't get more Jewish than that. |
