A TV weatherman broke both his arms and legs.
He had to call in from the hospital to explain the four casts.
-
I had an accident at home today
I bent down to pick up a sieve and strained myself.
-
A truckload of onions overturned on the highway.
Motorists are advised to look for a hard shoulder to cry on.
—
I once worked as a porn actor, but I left
when I didn't get a raise.
—
My wife and I have been married a long time. And like many long-term marriages, ours had lost its spark. But lately things had gotten really bad. I don't know what started it - a minor insult, a careless remark, years of buried frustrations, the general malaise that creeps into a marriage when priority is given to kids and careers. Whatever it was, things were bad. We had not made love in months, nor gone on a date. We barely talked anymore. I was desperate but didn't know what to say or what to do. I was afraid we were near the end.
So yesterday when she got home from work, I asked her to join me on the sofa.
"You know how we always said that we were not just husband and wife, but we're best friends?"
"Yes."
"And how we said that the best friends part of us should always be able to talk, even if the husband and wife part of us were struggling?"
"Yes."
I could see her face soften a bit.
"Well, I just really need to talk to my best friend right now."
Her lip quivered a bit and she drew a deep breath. "Okay, let's talk."
I sighed. "Thanks... My wife is being SUCH a BITCH these days.” |
