A guy starts talking to two women in a bar,
they turn out to be Siamese twins, and they wind up back at his apartment.
He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other. He realizes that the first one might get bored watching, so he her asks what she’d like to do.
She says, “Is that a trombone in the corner? I’d love to play your trombone.”
So she plays it while he screws her sister.
A few weeks later, the girls are walking past the guy’s apartment building. One of the girls says, “Let’s stop up and see that guy.”
The other girl says, “Gee, I dunno… do you think he’d remember us?”
—
A guy who owned a horse stud farm got a call from a friend. "I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse. I'm sending him over.”
The midget arrived, and the owner asked if he wanted a male or female horse.
"A female horth," replied the midget. So the owner showed him one.
"Nith looking horth, can I see her mouth?" So the owner picked up the midget and showed him the horse's mouth.
"Nith mouth. Can I see her eyeth?" So the owner picked up the midget and showed him the horse's eyes.
"OK, what about the earsth?" The owner was getting a bit fed up with this, but he picked up the midget one more time and showed him the horse's ears.
"OK, finally, I'd like to see her twat." With that, the owner picked up the midget and shoved his head up the horse's twat. Then he pulled him out.
Shaking his head, the midget said: "Perhapth I should rephrase. I'd like to see her run!”
—
A Spanish-speaking man who didn’t speak English was in an American store, looking to buy socks. Unable to find them, he approached a saleswoman who asked if she could help. "Quiero calcetines," the man said.
“I’m afraid I don’t speak any Spanish, but we have some nice suits on this side," said the woman, trying to be helpful.
“No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines." said the man.
The woman said, "Well, what about these shirts? They’re on sale this week."
“No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," he said.
“I’m sorry, I still don’t know what you’re trying to say," said the saleswoman. "There are some fine pants on this rack."
The man insisted, "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines."
“Our undershirts are over here," she tried, beginning to lose patience.
“No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines!" the man repeated.
But as they passed the underwear section, the man spotted a display of socks and grabbed a pair excitedly. Showing them to her, he exclaimed, "Eso sí que es!"
“‘Well, if you could spell it," said the exasperated saleswoman, "why didn’t you do that in the beginning?” |
