Female meteorologists are calling for 4-6 inches of snow in the Louisville area tonight.
Male meteorologists are saying 7-9
--
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated.”
And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers…
"My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training.”
—
"I got carded at a liquor store,
and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out.
The cashier said never mind.” |
