Why do retired Nazis make good animal doctors?
They're all Veteran Aryans.
—
A reporter goes to interview a man who turned 110
and asks him his secret to longevity. "It's simple," the man replies, "I never argue with anyone, so I have no stress in my life."
The reporter laughs it off: "That's ridiculous. That can't possibly be the reason."
The man shrugs and says, "Yeah, you're probably right.”
—
Marriage is like a three ring circus:
There is the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
—
A native American indian is talking to his psychiatrist
He tells him "Doc, I dont know what is wrong with me. One moment I think I'm a teepee, the next I think I'm a wigwam."
The doctor says "Ah, I think I see your problem. You're too tense.”
—
A millionaire enters the town of Klon, Alaska.
Upon arriving he notices a particularly popular homosexual bar specifically for women. Seeing a potentially valuable investment, he enters and speaks to the owner.
"How much to own this place?" He asks.
The owner responds: “Not for sale. I need to go, I've got customers waiting."
The millionaire, not wanting to miss an investment, grabs the owners arm as he turns to go and says “Wait, I'll do anything to own this place!"
The owner turns back to him slowly and says... "What would you do for a Klon dyke bar?” |
