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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only

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From: Tomato	2/20/2025 1:20:01 PM
	of 6601

I was gonna buy my wife a Rolex for her birthday Then I remembered there's already a clock on the stove. — Did you hear about the optimist who drowned in a half-full bathtub? — When my wife and I got married, we mutually decided to each select that one person who we'd most like to have sex with and, if by some miracle, it happened, the other wouldn't get angry. She picked Brad Pitt and I went with Uma Thurman. For our 20th anniversary, I thought it would be fun to change things up and she agreed. So, she picked George Clooney and I chose the next door neighbor. — I once dated this girl and became quitfond of her. Then one day I was talking with someone who also knew her. He says, “So you're dating Parrothead now?” I replied, "Yes, but she hasn't told me that she's a Jimmy Buffett fan”. The guy replies, "As far as I know she isn't a Buffett fan. Everyone calls her Parrothead because she's had a Cockatoo”.

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