What's a televangelist favorite pastime?
Praying on people.
—
A gynecologist was waiting on his last patient who was way behind schedule. After an hour, he made himself a gin and tonic to relax.
Afterward he settled into an armchair to read the newspaper and, a few minutes later, heard the knocking at the office door. It was the patient embarrassed and apologizing for the delay.
“It doesn't matter,” answered the doctor. “Look, I was having a gin and tonic while waiting. Do you want one to help you relax?”
“I accept, thanks!” she answered.
He made her a drink, sat down in front of her and they started talking.
Suddenly they heard someone opening the front door to the office.
The doctor got up, peered out the window and said, “It’s my wife! Quick, take off your clothes and spread your legs, – otherwise she might think there’s some nonsense going on!”
—
I'm such a pessimist, my problem isn't that the glass is half empty, it's that somebody stole the glass.
Remember, when one door closes, another slams in your face.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Welcome to Shit Creek. Sorry, we're out of paddles.
Last night I went to the annual meeting of the Pessimists Society. The room was half-empty.
I was born a pessimist. Even my blood type is B-negative. |
