"Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God," - Lenny Bruce
—
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. He said, “I have a 22 year old wife at home.
She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.” I said, “Well, then why are you crying?”
He said, “She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies, cleans the house and then watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon.”
I said, “Well, why are you crying?” He said, “For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love with me until the wee hours” I said, “Well, why in the world would you be crying?”
He said, “I can’t remember where I live!”
—
Son: "Dad where did I come from?”
Dad: "One day your mother and I were walking through an apple orchard…"
Son rolls eyes: "And you grabbed an apple not far from a tree?”
Dad: “No. I slipped in cider.” |
