JS Bach was going bald, to his great despair.
His doctor told him to rub his wife’s frilliest, sexiest item of undercutting against your scalp, as this would stimulate his male hormones to produce hair.
To Bach’s delight, it worked!
And that is how we got Bach’s hair on a G string.
--Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health.
From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.
One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.
His wife answered the door.
"Sure," his wife said. "It will cost you $500."
"That much?"
"But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."
"I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered.
"Sorry," she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter.”
--
Free Sex with Fill-Up
Long
A petrol station owner in Ireland was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.'
Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time."
A week later, Paddy, along with his friend John, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
Paddy guessed 2. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."
As they were driving away, John said to Paddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex at all."
Paddy replied, "No, it's genuine enough Mick. My wife won twice last week." |
