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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only

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From: Tomato	3/14/2025 1:58:05 PM
	of 6598

Did you hear about the man who jerks off into his coffee every morning? He loves to start his morning with an ejaculatte. — Why did the redneck couple only have two children? Because they heard that every third person born in the world is Chinese. — My GPS Poem I have a little GPS I've had it all my life It’s better than the normal ones My GPS is my wife It gives me full instructions Especially how to drive "It's thirty miles an hour", it says "You're doing thirty five" It tells me when to stop and start And when to use the brake And tells me that it's never ever Safe to overtake It tells me when a light is red And when it goes to green It seems to know instinctively Just when to intervene It lists the vehicles just in front And all those to the rear And taking this into account It specifies my gear. I'm sure no other driver Has so helpful a device For when we leave and lock the car It still gives its advice It fills me up with counseling Each journey's pretty fraught So why don't I exchange it And get a quieter sort? Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, Makes sure I'm properly fed, It washes all my shirts and things And - keeps me warm in bed! Despite all these advantages And my tendency to scoff, I do wish that once in a while I could turn the damned thing off.

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