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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only

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From: Tomato

3/19/2025 6:33:08 PM

of 6598

Why doesn’t the guy who got arrested for secretly ejaculating into his boss’s coffee for four years show any signs of regret in his police photo?
Because he has lots of experience with mug shots.

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What's the difference between Martin Luther King Day and St. Patrick's Day?

On St. Patrick's Day, everybody wants to be Irish.

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What did Lawrence Welk name his four daughters?

Anna 1 Anna 2 Anna 3 Anna 4.

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Ray and Pops were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall when a flower show was in progress.

Ray leaned over to Pops and said, “Cripes! life is boring, we never have any fun these days. For $5.00 I’d take my clothes off and streak through the flower show!”

“You’re on!” said Pops, holding up five dollars.

As fast as he could, the Ray fumbled his way out of his clothes and completely naked, streaked through the front door of the town hall, followed by loud applause. The streaker burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd.

“Wow, what happened?” asked Pops.

“It was great!” Ray said, “I won first prize for Dried Arrangement!”

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As I knelt down in the shoe shop with a pair of shoes in front of this sexy blonde, I couldn’t resist a quick glance up there short skirt….

"Hey perv!" she said. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts, isn't it?!”

"That's absolutely ridiculous!" I said. "I don't even work here!”

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