Mary had a little lamb,
It ran into a pylon,
10,000 volts shot up its ass,
And turned its wool to nylon.
—
I went to view a house on a Native American reservation.
"I like it" I said. "Does it come with running water?"
"Fuck off" He replied. "Get your own wife.”
—
A man forgot to buy his wife her favorite
anemones on her birthday. By the time he got to the florist's, all the shop had left were bits of greenery. Nevertheless, he decided to buy the foliage and was pleasantly surprised
when his wife expressed her delight at the gift. She said, "With fronds like these................who needs anemones?”
—
At a rape trial the young victim was asked by the D.A. what the defendant said before the alleged assault.
Too embarrassed to answer aloud, the victim asked if she could write out the answer. After reading the note, the judge instructed the jury foreman to read it and pass it among the rest of the jurors.
After making its way around the jury box, the last juror, who had fallen asleep due to a bender the had the night before, took the note from the male juror next to her and read, "I'm going to fuck you like you've never been fucked before."
The juror smiled at the man and slipped the note in her pocket.
"Will juror number 12 please pass the note to me!" ordered the judge.
"I can't, Your Honor," the juror answered. "It's personal.” |
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