The wife said "you know if I ever got Alzheimer's
I would commit suicide, rather than burden you with me" .
I said "that's the fifth time you've said that today.
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| A lady was doing her weekly grocery run and the check out girl noticed she bought quite a bit of canned dog food. She asked her if she had a new dog. She replied that, no, but her husband always complained about her cooking but she made a meat loaf out of dog food to get back at him but he has been praising her ever since. She goes on to say she grills it, makes chili out of it, and that he loves her spaghetti and meat sauce. “Me,” she says, “I just eat salads and yogurt.”
This went on for a period of time till one day at the grocery the clerk asked about her husband, since she wasn’t buying any dog food. She replied that he had died a few days earlier. The clerk asked “Was it the dog food?” She explained “I guess you could say that, he stopped in the middle of the road to lick his balls and a bus hit him.”… |
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What has 6 legs and loves to eat pussy?
You, me, and Rosie O’Donnell.
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Signs the grandparents are sexually active:
Before bed, they put their teeth in the same glass.
You find granny handcuffed to her walker.
You hear the bed and their joints squeaking.
Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains about "denture burn."
Grandma starts baking viagra-chip cookies.
Grandma looks at grandpa's crotch and claps twice.
The adjustable bed is set for "doggy-style." |
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