What is a fear of giants called?
Pheephiphobia.
—
A haiku about getting out of bed in the morning:
No no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no no no no
—
The confession
Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary when Sam says to Becky,
Long
“Becky, I was wondering if you’ve ever cheated on me?”
Becky replies, “Oh, Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question...”
“Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please...”
“Well, all right, three times...”
“Three, hmmm. When were they?”
“Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start that business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, one day the bank manager himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked...”
“Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So when was number two?”
“Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you needed that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Then remember how Dr. Morris came all the way up here to do the surgery himself and then you were in good shape again...”
“I can’t believe it, Becky, that you would do such a thing for me, to save my life... I couldn’t have a more wonderful wife... All right then, when was the third time?”
“Well, Sam, remember a few years ago when you really wanted to be president of the fishing club and you were 98 votes short…”
—
While waiting for her first appointment with her
new dentist, Jane notices his degree certificate on the wall, which includes his full name.
Suddenly, Jane remembers a tall, handsome boy from her High School class some 45 years ago who had exactly the same name. Naturally she wonders whether this can be the same guy.
However upon seeing him, she quickly dismisses any such thought. Surely this ageing, balding, grey-haired old man with a deeply lined face could not possibly be one of her old high school classmates.
After he had finished examining her teeth, Jane decides to ask him whether they he attended the local high school.
“Yes.” he replied.
“That’s amazing. What year did you graduate then?” Jane asks.
“In 1973” he responds.
“Amazing, you were in my class!” Jane exclaims.
He looks at her closely and then asks, “What subject did you teach?“ |
