Perks of 70 or beyond:
1.
Kidnappers are not very
Interested in you.
2.
In a hostage situation,
You are likely to be released first.
3.
No one expects you to run --
Anywhere.
4.
People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,
'Did I wake you?'
5.
People no longer view you as a
Hypochondriac.
6.
There is nothing left
To learn the hard way.
7.
Things you buy now will
Never wear out.
8.
You can eat
Supper at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex
But not your glasses.
10
You get into heated arguments
About pension plans.
11
You no longer think of speed limits
As a challenge.
12
You quit trying to hold
Your stomach in no matter who walks
Into the room.
13
You sing along
With elevator music.
14
Your eyes won't get
Much worse.
15 .
Your investment in health insurance
Is finally beginning to pay off.
16
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
Than the national weather service.
17
Your secrets are safe with your friends
Because they can't remember them either.
—
One day the apprentice said to his mentor, "You take long trip. I try be shaman for summer.”
The shaman asked, "Why should I take trip?”
The apprentice tried bribery. "If you take trip, I feed you belly full.”
The shaman agreed, so the apprentice gave his mentor a big meal, and the next day the shaman left on his long trip.
But the apprentice turned out to be a terrible shaman. Within a week, the chief could not take it anymore, and left to search for the old shaman. He found him and begged, "Please come back to tribe.”
The shaman asked, "Why should I come back?”
The chief tried bribery. "If you come back, I feed you belly full.”
The shaman agreed, so they both went back, and the chief gave the shaman a big meal.
When the apprentice saw his mentor had returned, he asked, "Why back so soon?”
The old shaman explained, "Full me once, shaman you. Full me twice, shaman me." |
