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Look, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, carbon is not the enemy. These climate alarmists, they don’t know what they’re talking about. The Earth has been going through ice ages every 100,000 years, freezing, brutal, unlivable conditions. Millions would die. Crops? Gone. Cities? Buried. Civilization? Over. But guess what? Thanks to all this carbon, our beautiful, clean carbon, we’ve actually stopped the next ice age. That’s right, we saved the planet.
The scientists, you know, the real ones, they’ve said it. Human CO2 emissions may have delayed the next glaciation by thousands of years. That’s not a climate disaster, that’s a climate victory. Warmer weather, longer growing seasons, green plants everywhere. They don’t tell you that on CNN. But it’s true. So instead of shutting down our economy and begging China for solar panels, maybe we should say: ‘Thank you, carbon. You did a great job.’
Let’s get one thing straight, carbon is not the villain, it’s the unsung hero. We were heading straight for another ice age, freezing cold, mass starvation, total collapse. But then, guess what? Human ingenuity, energy production, and yes, beautiful, clean coal, came in and saved the day. We warmed the planet just enough to stop that frozen nightmare. That’s not a disaster, folks, that’s a miracle. That’s success. But you’ve got these losers in the Paris Climate Accord, running around screaming about 1.5 degrees like it’s the end of the world. Meanwhile, China laughs at us and keeps building coal plants every week. They want America to shut down while they keep going full speed. We’re not going to sacrifice our economy, our workers, and our future just to please some European bureaucrats and Greta with her frowny face.
We should be proud. We used our brains, our resources, our energy, our beautiful clean coal, and we kept the lights on, the crops growing, and the next ice age far away. You’re welcome, Earth. You’re welcome.
