What is the difference between a street seller and a dachshund??
A street seller bawls out his wears on the pavement.
—
I dated a dental hygienist for a while.
She had the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
—
This guy shows up to his optometrist and says "I have a weird problem",
The Optometrists replies, "What seems to be the trouble?"
The guys says, "Everything's blurry. My vision is horrible!"
"That's pretty common", the Optometrist replies. "We can certainly fix th..."
"Wait! Here's the weird thing though" the guy interrupts, "Everything is blurry. EVERYTHING. Except... People's butts. People's butts, dogs butts, cats butts. Butts! I see butts clearly! What's going on?"
The Optometrist smiles and calmly replies, "Listen, you've got nothing to worry about. Everyone knows that hindsight is 20/20.”
—
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner.
The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Oh no, I look like a pig!”
The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top, too!”
—
| | After £1 million worth of sex toys are stolen from a lorry in Kettering. Police say the suspects may be sitting on the evidence and it’s unlikely they’ll come quietly. |
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