I was well on my way to becoming a millionaire
I had a sex toy business that specialized in gold plated butt plugs. One day I got a cease and desist letter from Apple.
Apparently they hold the patent on overpriced shit for assholes.
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My dad's star sign was cancer which is ironic considering how he died
He was attacked by a giant crab.
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| A few weeks ago, me and my girlfriend decided to spice up our relationship by going to an orgy. A mutual friend of ours gave us the address, and told us to wear costumes. I was broccoli, my girlfriend was a tomato.
When we arrived, the door was unlocked. Thinking nothing of it, we stepped inside, only to be greeted by the sight of the (now former) friend dressed as a sausage, sitting alone in the center of the room, legs spread, jacking off!
My girlfriend turned to me, red in the face and with a murderous look in her eye."We're leaving." she muttered.
Unthinkingly, I said the first thing that entered my mind. "Babe, we can't leave now! The wurst is yet to cum!” |
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